Enough said!

A word to the not-so-wise....

You would think it is unnecessary to mention this, but apparently not so.  Hence I have a suggestion for anyone on the run from the law....DON'T DYE YOUR HAIR BUBBLEGUM PINK!  A couple of days ago, a couple friendly officers of the law stopped by with a photo.  They asked if I had seen him.  I did recognize the face, but couldn't recall if I'd seen him recently or not.  They then indicated that if I saw him to give them a call...oh, and by the way, he has dyed his hair pink.  After they left, I passed the request on to my co-worker, who had been at lunch when the police came by.  Not an hour later, she said "Is that the guy they were looking for?"  Sure enough, there he was, with his bright pink hair.  I probably wouldn't have been able to be sure he was the same person, had it not been for the hair.  Come on folks, are you really that stupid???

Today was one for the books!

I think every day around here is beyond weird, but today was a topper, for sure!  The previously mentioned person who wanted everyone to view his stubbed toe was sitting in the lobby when I walked in this morning.  He had apparently arrived sometime before 8 a.m.  Not long after I got here, I overheard him talking on the phone, when he mentioned that he was going to be here until 4 p.m.  Without a doubt, 8 hours of him in the lobby is cruel and unusual punishment!  Then my co-worker mentioned that he had been laying face down on the floor this morning.  (This is oddly becoming "normal" for him.  He claims he's having seizures.)  I would have to be completely unconscious to lay on this floor...it's totally disgusting!  She told him he needed to get up and sit on the bench.  This only served to set him off on  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to bug you", 17,000 times.  If he hasn't already bugged you to your breaking pointing, his non-stop apologies are certain to push you over the edge.  A bit later in the morning we hear "Hey!"...."Hey!", only to find him once again laying on the floor in his spread-eagle position.  She just told him to get up and have a seat.  While I was gone to lunch, she sent me a text saying he had done it two more times, so she called 9-1-1.  The paramedics came and he did his thing for them outside on the sidewalk.  They came in and said that he wasn't having seizures, which was confirmed by his doctor.  It's sooooo exhausting dealing with people who will do ANYTHING for attention!

In case it hadn't already been a weird enough day, I got a call from one of the supervisors, saying that the driver of the bus coming from Leavenworth (30 miles away) had gotten halfway back to Wenatchee, when someone said "who's dog is this?"  Apparently the dog had gotten on at one of the stops, but the owner had not.  This particular dog is well-known around here, since the owner claims it's her "service dog".  The only problem is, she always has it dressed up...in a swimsuit, halloween costume, sunglasses, snow boots....and pushing it in a stroller!  You get the picture...not so much a service animal as a toy!  So, between tending to the attention-seeking dude and the t-shirt-wearing chihuahua, I was ready to call it a day about 2 p.m.

To add insult to injury, I'm working Tuesday through Saturday this week, so I am just getting warmed up on what promises to be another fun-filled week!

What's it worth?

Yesterday was another one for the memory album.  I got a call about 12:30 from a "gentleman" demanding that I call the Rt 24 driver because he left his shirt on the bus.  Since we have a policy that we only call for items over $50 (typically wallets or cell phones), I told him I couldn't do that, and that the drivers usually do a walk-through when they complete their routes and bring in any items left behind.  He said that wouldn't work for him, so he would hold so I could call the driver right then.  I again told him I couldn't do that.  He then got even more agitated and reminded me that he pays my wages, so I needed to call NOW!  Same story....not gonna do that, sir!  By this point he told me it was a work shirt that he had just bought and he needed to get it; what would stop someone else from picking it up and putting in their backpack?  Probably not much, but I didn't bother pointing that out to him.  He demanded my name and my supervisor's name.  Happy to oblige there.  Then he slammed the phone down.  About 20 minutes later, a "gentleman" came to the front counter and immediately said "I talked to someone earlier about a lost shirt".  I gladly told him it was me.  Mind you, he had apparently gotten in a vehicle and driven the 15 miles from where he originally got off the bus to have a little face-to-face time.  Fortunately, the supervisor was standing there.  He asked if the shirt had been turned in.  Nope, sorry.  He said "that's why you should have called when I told you to."  Again, I told him we have a policy that we can only contact dispatch to call a driver for high-value items.  But said I would contact dispatch (via IM), to see if the driver had it on the bus.  I sent the IM, an then waited.  About 30 seconds later he said "am I just standing here for nothing?"  The supervisor said he should have a seat because we were waiting for dispatch to get back to us.  He had a seat....for about 2 minutes...then he came back to the counter and said "if you find it, just give it away to somebody it fits.  I'm too busy to deal with you folks", and off he stomped.  About an hour later, the driver brought the shirt in.  I saw it still had the price tag on, so I took a look.....Wal-Mart $1.00~!  Pretty pathetic that a person is willing to make a fool of themself for only a dollar!

It's a bird....it's a plane.....it's CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS!

So one of our regulars (35-40 years old) came to the counter this morning to get some change.  When I got up from my desk to help him, I saw that his pants were down BELOW his underwear.  Not just the band of his underwear exposed, but half his thighs were exposed.  Thank goodness his tighty whities appeared to be new!  As he walked away, his pants were pulled up normally in back.  I have no idea whether that was the look he was going for or a massive wardrobe malfunction.  I need to go wash my eyes out with bleach!

Our High-Class Clientele

We got this comment card from one of our "guests".  It came complete with a nice LONG piece of toilet paper (or should I follow his lead and say TOLIET)

Update....

I know it's been a while....okay, a LONG while....since my last post.  Not because of lack of material, merely a lack of motivation to put things in writing.  It's been a long day (Saturday...10 1/2 hours), at the end of a long week.  But lest things should become too ordinary, I have noticed we have one of our regulars walking circles in the lobby.  Not big circles, mind you, only about a 5 ft radius.  Since I first noticed him, he's been at it for about an hour!  He's going to eventually get so dizzy he'll tip over.  I had to walk downstairs to run a report on the ATM and I had to stop for him to pass....couldn't interrupt his pattern.  I've long since given up on wondering WHY. 

Some conversations I didn't need to overhear

For some reason unknown to me, the regular cast of characters consists of a few people (okay, a LOT of people) who feel that everyone should get to hear their opinions, philosophical perspectives, and generally weird observations.  There is no such thing as a private conversation!   Here are a few of my most memorable...

A 20-something-year-old (definitely old enough to have more social sense than this) was telling someone how he had cleaned up his life lately..."I don't smoke any more.  I don't drink any more. And I don't fornicate THAT much any more"--Thanks for sharing that with everyone in the lobby!

An older woman (my age) spent a considerable amount of time trying to strike up a conversation with a girl who seemed to be waiting for a bus to the college.  The girl was trying to be polite and then go back to reading, or whatever it was she was doing.  Eventually the woman managed to find out that the girl wanted to be a writer.  That was all she needed to wind her up.  "I have a story I could tell you that would be great.  It's about a woman who lived right here in Wenatchee 10,000 years ago.  But it might freak you out.  My mother was full blood Indian and my sire (you know the difference between a sire and a father, don't you)....."--I guess her family has been in the valley for really long time...10,000 years!  Or maybe she was referring to her previous life.  Who knows!  The poor girl was trapped and looking for the next bus to take her away--anywhere!

Among our regular casts of characters, you learn pretty quickly who you can talk to and who gets the bare minimum acknowledgment so as not be rude (maybe minimally rude in other settings).  You do NOT want to give some people the opportunity to engage you in a conversation, or you'll have to be carted out on a gurney to escape!

There is quite a cast of characters!

Of course, we have plenty or "ordinary" riders, but ordinary is boring.  It's the not-so-ordinary that add color to the picture.  All  names are changed to protect the innocent.....ME!  My first introduction to Dana happened during the fall when I was working alone.  There is typically a busier time of the day when folks are off work and out of school waiting to connect to their out-of-town buses.  During this "rush hour" Dana came up to the counter and said she needed to call 9-1-1 because she was being stalked.  She continued to explain that a satanic cult has been "doing things to make her think she's crazy".  Just the previous night they had come into her apartment and stolen all her lightbulbs.  And worse than that, when she went to take out her garbage,  they had put them back!  The nerve of those satanic cults!  There was a line forming behind her, and I knew I didn't want her standing at the counter using our phone to retell this to the police, so I took money out of my purse and told her she should use the payphone for that.

There have been plenty of  Dana sightings since then, but a couple of days ago, she again came to the counter and said she needed to call 9-1-1 because Satan had stolen her bus pass.  The supervisor told her she could call 9-1-1 for no charge from the payphone.  Dana disappeared and I figured she had moved on.  The next thing I know, I see a police car pull up.  Sure enough he was there regarding a stolen bus pass.  When we told him who had called, and indicated that she was no longer there, he said "Oh, great!  She'll call back, or show up at the police station.  Hopefully I'll be off by then!"  It was obvious the police know her at least as well as we did.

There's No Such Thing As a Stupid Question!

WRONG!  Whoever came up with this ridiculous idea never answered the phone at my place of employment.  I answer stupid questions ALL day, EVERY day.

"What time does the 3 o'clock bus leave?"

"I have one of your phones....it's called a Jitterbug, or something.  My battery is dead, so I guess I need a new one."  "I'm sorry sir, but you must have the wrong number, you have called the bus station."  "Well, could you transfer me to them?"  (Did you miss something about "we have buses, not phones"?)

"When will the next bus be by here"....Ah, where is here?  "Home."  And where do you want to go?  "To the high school."  Considering we provide service in two counties, including 11 communities, with a total of 7 high schools,  you'll need to be a little more specific than that.

 I am NOT an advocate for video phone calls, especially in the workplace.  I definitely need the option of rolling my eyes at some of the questions I get.  A person needs some kind of pressure relief....it keeps me from acting on the urge to say something like "Did that sound better in your head? Cause what I heard sounded like a stupid question!"

Allow me to introduce myself!

Having survived the roaring 70's, I took a twist on the whole Earth, Wind & Fire thing to try to describe life, as I know it.   By way of explanation.....

Mirth: noun.   Suggests spontaneous amusement or gaiety, manifested briefly in laughter, often exceeding the limits of reason or propriety

Germs: noun, plural.  No explanation required.  Let your imagination run wild....and then some!

Ire:  noun.  Intense anger; wrath.

For the past 10 years I have been employed in the transportation industry....first, for an air charter company (which also included air ambulance/organ procurement flights) and now in public transportation (also know as the city bus system). I've gone from transporting the rich and famous--movie stars, politicians, top-tier businessmen, supermodels, musicians, and those that have more money than good sense--to rubbing shoulders with the truly down-and-outs of the community, not to memtion the inebriated, self-medicated, ought-to-be medicated, and plain ole' unmotivated.

So as a form of personal therapy, I have started this blog to record some of my more colorful observations, encounters, and insights. Let the stories begin.....